Sunday, September 21, 2008


Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your rear.

Get in the shower.

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. (EEW!)

Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.


Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

Ok, If any of you can still see through the tears of laughter, email me and i will send a copy of this to you via email. I got this almost 1 1/2 yrs ago and came across it today. This is priceless.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

ABC's "getting to know you" TAG. Each player then tags 3 people and posts their names, then go to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

A- Attached or single: Attached and I really like him!

B- Best Friend: Steve. No more, my dad told me as a kid to never have a BFF. I do have some very awesome amost BFFs though

C-Cake or Pie: cake (Dark, fudgy,chocolate)

D-Day: NOT sunday! Yoga and pilates days, lately

E- Essential Item: water, gum, Steve!

F- Favorite Color: I love alot of colors. Brown, green, red, blue.

G-Gummi Bears or Worms: Gummi worms, Im not eating them these days.

H-Home town: Scottsdale, AZ

I- Indulgences: time alone with Steve. Yummy dinners with you know who. chocolate

J- January or July?: January, ski time!!!

K-Kids: 4 wonderful in their own way kids. 1 girl, 3 boys

L-Life is incomplete without: God, Steve, kids and a chocolate

M- Marriage Date: October 21,1995

N-Number of Siblings: 4

O- Oranges or Apples: Oranges

P- Phobias or Fears: Fear that Steve will die long before me. he thinks this is going to happen, so that worries me. or that someone will break in the house while Steve is out fo town.

Q- Quote: Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

R- Reason To Smile: Im alive and happy and "seriously so blessed"

S- Season: I love all, wish we had four seasons in AZ. Love the crispness of fall, Chill of winter, planting in the spring, and freedom of summer

T- Tag Three: Jacque Arnette, Marnee Marriott, Sarah Williams

U- Unknown fact about me: I used to be really outspoken and sassy. Ive come along way!!

V- Vegetarian or Oppressor of Animal: What?!? I love meat, I'm "O" blood type.

W- Worst Habit: quick to the end of my fuse.

X-Rays or Ultrasounds: Ultrasounds :) Ultrasounds

Y-Your favorite food: Eating at a great resturaunt. I LOVE yummy, prepared for me food.

Z: Zodiac Sign: Scorpio

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

O drew this for me. I asked him who it was. "It's you mom. In the house!" Crazy mom, I say. Is that really how he thinks I look? Frazzled, yet SUPER skinny.

He's Gonna Kill Me One Day

Oh, this is going to be one to hold over his head! Sweet sixteen, wedding roast? I chuckle everytime I look at this picture. Really, I love his sweet innoncence and even cuter face.

Little Miss Long Legs Turns 11!

We were so excited to have our little girl. Although you were the hardest pregnancy, overdue by 8 LONG days, most painful delivery & did the most damage to my body.

You were SO worth it!

I thought she would come out pretty! Only a face a mother could love! I was truly amazed ny her. So sweet, calm, new, helpless, MINE. I came across a saying when I was pregnant with her that honestly I didn't completely understand until I held her.

" A baby touches a part of your heart, a part you never knew was there."

So cute and chunky

Watch out world, I know where I came from & I know where I'm going!

Baptism Photo

11 years old

My how she's grown! Too little time and space to share all of my feelings.
  • mature and wise beyond her years
  • so helpful & responsible
  • wants to be modest
  • smart, adventursome, spunky & funny
  • compassionate at an early age. Knows when to jump in & help
  • mean cooking skills & very daring to try new recipes
  • eats & ENJOYS veggies
  • a leader
  • Ginger, Lavonia, Little Miss Longe legs, Liv or whatever Steve wants that day
  • intense & determined (which will serve her well someday)
  • well mannered and kind to so many

We love you Liv! You are so awesome. We enjoy watching your life evolve. Stay true and keep on going where you are going. We are so proud of you and your choices.

Random Funniness with Mr. O

During the "Osborn Stressful Homework Hour" O gave me a much needed laugh. "Mom I have 8 shirts on!" Mom said, "Why did you do that?" O replied,"I wanted to try it." Mom so sweetly said,"Oh, that is so funny, now please GO HANG THEM BACK UP!" (after a few pics of course!)

Lets count them he says! Who knew fun could be so educational!!!!

Gottta love his little teeth, big dimples & smile.

I love O. He is so funny and quite unusual (in a good way!) I am not great at describing why I think he is so interesting to me. He listens intently esp. when I don't think he is, and is always trying to figure out how things work. His mind is "mechanical". Like father, like son. I especially love his randomness!


  • hey mom, worms have 5 hearts.
  • after studying grandma's "moley" back, he said, "your back looks like a tortilla"
  • my sleeper in the buff
  • reformed neighborhood nudest (riding his bike and all)
  • sweet kind boy esp. now that he is a kindergartner

Thursday, September 11, 2008

The beach is calling...

Thursday is finally here! It's the day we leave for a fun little getaway. Watch out everyone here we come...

  • One very long 15 passenger van

  • 3 Hot mamas looking very much forward to this

  • 10 kids

  • oodles of luggage for the 3 day getaway.

  • 2 beach umbrellas and 4 boogie boards

  • p.s. Leigh, I have a portable DVD for the van

Can't wait for all of the fun, No issues or fighting. The men are a little worried about us on the road. Be assured, I packed Steve's BIG, HEAVY flashlight, incase we need to hit any bad guys over the head and I do know how to change a flat tire. Heaven help us though!!!

See ya!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, September 8, 2008

Tag Your It.

I am starting a Tagging Fest! Each player tags 3 people, post their names & go to their blog. Leave a comment letting them know they have been tagged & ask them to read your blog.


I am...trying to not be idealistic. It backfires only to get dissapointed.

I think...Sarah Palin ROCKS! and I am excited about her.

I heart...Steve, dark chocolate, yoga & pilates, losing weight & my family (as wacky as they are)

Everyone is so... creative! Really I don't know how to answer that one.

I dance...naked haha. I wish I danced well. I wish I could do Dancing With The Stars. I was in a highschool dance recital once. My mom told my boyfriend at the time, something like...I don't know what to expect! Guess I haven't improved much.

I ALL. No really. SERIOUS. I wish that there weren't so many people I know with sadness and heartache. Life can be so cruel.

I am scared of...imaginary bad guys. When Steve goes out of town, I role play how I would let my MEAN looking dogs out to attack the bad guy sneaking around in my house, grab Steve's gun, shoot the bad guy (if he's not already outside) and get all of my children out of the house safely. You need to know these things!!!

I hate...fake people. Be real people!

I in Utah or maybe just the 4 seasons. Millie my allergic dog.

I wish...Steve would live pain free and if its not too much to dream about, I'd love for him to have his leg back.

I fear...not really much. I try not to live in fear. Fear is of the devil! Steve always says he is going to die early. I REALLY HOPE NOT. I'd be lost with out him.

Ripping on Myself?

I made this bad boy in the 8th grade. I had a picture but misplaced it. Dang, it was a good one. I'm still looking for it. I thought I was so cool for making this shirt.

Anyone remember these?

I loved these earrings. They went with most everything! Now all I think about when I see rainbows is gay pride.

By far the wierdest thing I saved. more confession, I saved my hospital band from when I was SO sick from the chicken pox. I had a fever of 106 and halucinating. I had a spinal tap because the Dr. thought I might have had those darn spots on my brain!

I loved Vanilla Ice. He was my 1st concert. You always remember things like that. I was an official member of his fan club. Ice Ice Baby!

I was in the basement the other day, and came across my box of childhood mementos. I had so much fun looking though it.

Man am I weird. The stuff I saved is funny. I have letters, dolls, my embroidered Chaparral high school sweatshirt ( it was so expensive and I saved my $ to buy it. Pride of ownership. Good lesson to teach the kids. Who knows they may save nifty things too!), my BRACES, five Swatch watches, an Espirit purse, a Harry Connick calendar (I fell in love with him in high school. He and Steve!)pictures of me thinking I was so cute and cool. Wow have times changed,my baptism corsage...the list goes on. Fun memories.

I found a few pictures I'll have to save for future posts. There so good. I can't wait to rip on myself some more!

Sunday, September 7, 2008


Will someone please help me? I want to tag my friends...(that's you!) I have a challenge and don't quite know how to accomplish it. Thanks in advance.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

My All Time Favorite Picture

My Senior Prom at thePhoenix Zoo *1995*


How funny is this. Sweet dance pose, and yes we go that far back in time!!! What a good sport. Returning to MY high school to take me to the dances.

Steve robbed me from the cradle! I'm so glad he did. I met him when I was a junior in high school. I heard him give a fireside about his accident in my ward. I thought he was SO HOT, but even more I was touched by his story and his testimony of God. We dated through my senior year and got married that fall.

Of course, my nonmember friends and who knows who else, (mom & dad) were worried I was making the right choice at 18 years old. I knew it then and still know it today. He is truly the best for me and I am thankful our lives crossed.

What are these types of photos called?

I was looking through some old photos and came across the one of Steve. I knew I had one of me too, so I thought it would be funny to post them. I gave myself that beauty of a haircut at my grandmas. I still remember doing it too. I think I'm about three.
What could be better than your favorie Micky Mouse sweatshirt for picture day! I love looking at pictures of Steve when he was little. I catch glimpses of my kids.

Get Healthy & Loose A Little FAT While I'm At It!

I heard through a friend that she was on a great new diet. Since I gained 5 pounds over the summer I decided to listen to what she had to say. I read the book Hunger Free Forever and decided to try it. Its a fiber rich "diet" but you don't feel like your on a diet. I don't feel deprived at all. The main thing is taking a supplement called PGX before lunch and dinner. I have a shake called Slimstyles for breakfast with PGX in it. It's fiber you take before eating a meal and it expands in your stomach so you don't eat ask much. The AMAZING thing reduces carb cravings and lowers the glycemic index in the foods you eat.

I haven't had a Coke since the beginning of August. I don't crave sweets very much. Now that is amazing. I am eating healthy and did I mention I don't feel deprived. The one things is... eating healthy is more expensive.

That leads me to let you in on my new little secret. Thanks to my Yoga and Pilates instructor Sarah, I now make frequent visits to Fresh & Easy. Ive been getting coupons in the mail for $5 off if you spend $20. The store will also give you more when you check out. They clearance items in the a.m. so I can get things for dinner that will be past "sell by date" in the next couple of days. I freeze stuff, bread, milk, butter, yogurt, meat etc. so I don't mind buying that stuff cause it wont spoil in the freezer.
I have been weight lifting and not getting the results I want. I met a 50ish lady this summer and come to find out she is a Pilates instructor. She looks fabulous. Not big and bulky but long and lean. Just right in my opinion. It peaked my desire to try it. I have put it off and finally one day on a whim, I saw and old friend waiting to go to pilates at the gym. I took the class after I had already lifted wights so I was pretty dead, but I loved it. Its hard in the beginning. My instructor says give yourself 10 classes and then you are stronger.I've only taken 11 pilates and yoga classes (3times a week) and I am already seeing results.
For all of you who have had babies. This is the way to go. My problem area is my mid-section. I have done so many crunches and they don't work for me. If you look around the average mom needs a little help in this arena. I can't believe the difference already. I post this because it may help someone. I am so excited, feel great and am losing inches. Its work. There is no EASY way, but with PGX it helps so much. If your looking for something to help this just may. Good luck! Man I'd be a good rep, but I promise I'm not selling it!